錯乱 (Confusion)

When I titled this blog entry "錯乱" or "Confusion", it was purely due to it being the song currently playing, but it ties in quite well with this post.

Ringo Shiina. Alan. Ai Otsuka. Chihiro Onitsuka. Gackt. Shakira. Hikaru Utada. Regina Spektor.

What do all of these artist have in common? Other than them being singers, they're all also songwriters. I listen to so much music which is created by this type of person and it struck me as odd. I'm attracted to artists who create their own songs and play instruments, yet I'm currently not playing myself? So odd.

I've been wanting to blog for quite some time, but I've had nothing to talk about until now.

Well, my topic for today is music and instruments! Until a few years ago, I used to play guitar, but due to lack of interest and lack of willpower I stopped, but listening to the music I do made me think. I can't sing, my lyrics aren't good and I can't compose. So, before you start thinking that I want to be a songwriter, that's not an option!

You could say I've been "inspired" finally. Sometime this week I'm going to resume the guitar and aim for proficiency. So, wish me luck!

This leads me to another subject. Currently I'm half-heartedly searching for a job, but this week is going to be my last week of laziness! I'm going to start job-searching in earnest.

I'm going to end it there with these lyrics:

If you only look,

It will never be in reach,

If you only look,

It will never be yours

-Catcher In The Light, Ayumi Hamasaki

野に咲く花のように

On Monday my exams start, well, not just mine, everyone's.

To tell the truth, I'm really nervous about them. I think I'll do okay though.
After I finish this blog, I'm going to revise so much. I'll revise all day Saturday and Sunday too.

After my fourth exam I can breathe a little, but then back into the fray with more exams. Should be fun, right?
Well, I'm going to try my hardest because I have something to work towards.

I've realised that I can finally connect with Gackt's song "No ni Hana Saku no you ni" which translates to "the flowers blooming in the field."

Now that I'm so close to leaving I can almost taste it. Every breath is filling my lungs more and more with the scent of it. Haha.

The lyrics are very nostalgic. Very melancholy.

"No one has engraved their name in the ground beneath the cherry trees,
So let's make a promise,
To come back here someday and do that.
Like the flowers that bloom in the corner of the school yard,
Where the echoing of the school bell can be heard,
I want to express to you, who smiled gently for me,
A simple 'Thank you.'
One of these days, we'll meet here again.
Until that day...
I want you to grow strong, and never give up,
Like the flowers that bloom in the field.

The road we got so used to walking down,
And the scenery we got so used to seeing,
With a smile on your face, and tears in your eyes,
You said 'I'll remember them forever.'
We got used to always seeing, the setting sun colouring the rows of cherry trees.
And as we began to walk to the future,
We'll hold onto each and everyone of these memories in our hearts.
Until you reach the place you envisioned,
Don't ever give up.
You are flowers yet to be named,
But I want you to grow stronger and never give up no matter what."

There's more, but that's the really sad part. Haha. It's a coincidence considering that there's now a line of cherry-blossom trees outside school. o.O

So, yes. I'm feeling a little nostalgic. Strangely enough I'll miss that place, even though I've already left. I think I'll miss the people more than anything.
They say that as you grow older, you find yourself in different social groups, I think it's very true. It makes me wonder just how many of my friends I'll still be in touch with.

Different circumstances, different goals, different dreams, different paths.

But I don't think I'll ever forget anyone, even if we do eventually part. Haha.
That's an overly sad way to look at things, right?

Even so, sometimes it's good to be pessimistic, eh? XD

In other news, I'm totally in love with Gackt again. I think I'm gonna marathon him for a few weeks mainly to get his play count further up along my last.fm charts. XD

I think that's it. Hopefully I'm going to get to finish some poetry later. I feel in the mood for writing a "good bye" poem. XD