Blogging this then bed

As of tomorrow, I'm promised myself that I won't come on-line as much, sorry, but, I have to do this, I really do :(

Just to clarify, I'm going to be practising guitar for about 3-5 hours a day, 1.5-2.5 hours divided between electric and bass.

And before that homework, I'll do the homework on-line you see, I aim to be in bed by like 11:30 PM.

Actually, I've just been thinking I'm going to draw me up a timetable (Sad, I know); but, I really need to organise myself these coming years, and as most of you know, I'm in 3rd set for English, so even though it's going to piss a few people off, I'm going to be typing/speaking proper English, I really need to get a grip of my languages if I'm going to learn them all.

Anyway, I love this song it's called Kimi ga Oikaketa Yume - Gackt, I'll post the lyrics at the end.
But yes, I get home at 4:00 PM - 5:30 PM, that means I have 7:30/6:00 hours free time, which is for my homework, on-line, language study and guitar.

Around an 1 - 2 hours of homework leaving me with 6:30/5:00 hours left.
3 hours of language study, so that'd be 35 minutes-per-language leaving me with 3:30/2:00 hours.
Go off-line at like,9:00 PM/9:30 PM and practice guitar for about 1:30 hour which would make it 10:30 PM/11:00 PM, then go back on-line till 11:30, then go and get ready for bed.

I need to tweak things a little of course, but you all should get the gist.

Anyway, lyrics now:

???????? ??????
(??? Japanese)

????????
????????????
?????????????????
--?????????--?
???????????
??????????????????
?????????????????
????????????????????
??????????
???????????
?????????????????
?????????????
???????????
????????????????
?????????
??????????
???????????????????
--????????????????--???????
????????????????????????
??????????
?????????????
?????????????????????
???????s????
???????????
????????????????
???????????????????
?????????????
??????????
???????????
?????????????????
?????????????
???????????
??????????????
??????????
?????????????
?????????????????????
?????????????
???????????
???????????????
????????

The Dream You Chased After - Gackt Camui
(English)
We used to dream nostalgic dreams.
Back then, we were drawn together,
And we shared each other's overflowing loneliness.
"This is what is precious to me"
When I realized that, it was already too late.
The fond memories gone by are all too bright.
But if you should ever be hurt so much you could cry,
Then I will sing for you until your tears run dry.
If this is the dream you want to chase after,
Then don't be scared over getting hurt.
On nights when you shiver, I will hold you tight.
So stop showing me that sad face.
Please show me your smile.
Your smile is so dear to me and more beautiful than anyone's.
I still remember it well.
That eternity is not here.
I continued to watch with sad eyes as things disappeared.
"No one would get in a car without breaks," you whispered.
But you were only pretending to be strong, so I just pulled you into my arms.
If this is the dream you want to live,
Then don't cry and sulk.
On nights when you can't sleep, I'll stay with you until you dream.
So don't be so shy.
Please show me your smile.
Your smile is so dear to me and more beautiful than anyone's.
Back then, we used to talk of countless dreams.
I know we can't go back to that time, but...
If this is the dream you want to chase after,
Then don't be scared over getting hurt.
On nights when you shiver, I will hold you tight.
So stop showing me that sad face.
Please show me your smile.
Your smile is so dear to me and more beautiful than anyone's.
If this is the dream you want to live,
Then don't cry and sulk.
On nights when you can't sleep, I'll stay with you until you dream.
So don't be so shy.
Please show me your smile.
Your smile is so dear to me and more beautiful than anyone's.
Show me your smile...

to gomenasai :(

Finally!

Right, I've just given my blog a well deserved refurbish.
I hope people like the new colours, black & green; but, if you don't then, well I really cannot be arsed to changed them, so you'll have to make do, sorry.

As many of you know, I went back to school on Wednesday.
It really was a waste of time though, I had to change my options, I picked history and ICT, history seems pretty good actually, it was funny, I walked in and like everyone looked at me! (I'm so popular )

And as for ICT, I believe I'll have it double period tomorrow, but I need to contact Mrs Bell tomorrow morning before the period.
I just asked Stef about it and apparently I'm in with a load of people from the other half -- Yay for me!
I hate options, it's ruined school for me, I'm in like 2 subjects with my friends, and the rest of the time, I'm stuck between plastics.
Meh, I only have school for another 2 years, I'll just have to grit my teeth and get on with things...

Anyway, first psychology lesson tomorrow, this is the ONLY thing I've looked forward to -- to be perfectly honest.

Bah!

Sayonara

Blah

Right, Hi :)

I'm uber bored, and I've just spent the last half an hour looking at the jobs available in Japan, BAH! It SUCKS! No demand for psychologists, meaning my degree with be void LOL

But another thing is, they all want women!

Pfft evil employers.
But yeah, I've been looking at Tao and Shinto
And I called confirm; I can't make any sense of it xD

Anyway, I like the idea of shinto, where you don't have to openly say you're shinto, and it seems pretty understandable...
Anyway I wanna research a new religion tomorrow, suggestions? :)

watashi wa sui! =/

Right, firstly, let's get this clear; I suck


I've started going through the 'Dark Ages' of my life...Dark Ages being a reference to the Spiritual Darkness of the Middle Ages.
So I have NO idea what I believe in, except that I believe in something, I have no idea.
It'd seem to me that these are my options:

- Paganism
- Shinto
- Buddhism
- New Ageism
- Unitarian Universalism
- Sikhism
- Hinduism
- Liberal Quakers
- Jainism
- Taoism

Which is doing my head in...I said I'm gonna look into these religions, but I'm so forgetful and stupid half the time, so I dunno when I'm gonna get round to it!

And this brings me to a second point; my Japanese is verging near terrible again.
I hardly ever get around to memorising Katakana, even though it's SO easy!
How lame am I?!
I have absolutely no willpower, I love you language, I really do, I also love the country, but no way am I gonna be able to move unless I sort out my act!

Anyway, starting tomorrow, I HAVE to read about Shinto and memorise 5 katakana for me to remember tomorrow.

I'll try to blog more too

But seriously I'm uber sucky these days

I should stop...

I've just been watching NANA, and was thinkin, how much I can relate to Hachi, I mean, we're both dreamers, unlucky in love... agh, watching NANA, it kinda makes me depressed, I hate it, feeling like I'll never make something of my life.

Hachi regularly says stuff like, "They only hang out with me cause I'm Nana's roommate" and I guess thats what my friends kinda make me feel like... "They only hang out with me, cause I like this certain music" or "They're only my friends because I look like this..." and it kinda hurts my pride... I don't wanna be liked for what I look like... I would hate it if people only liked me because I was into a certain band... I continually piss people off... but I really don't mean it...

I want to be liked for my personality... although, I try to be a good person...but it never seems enough.

I do my best to listen to what my friends say... I accept their opinions the best I can, yet it always strikes me... that whenever we have contrasting opinions... I'm always told to leave it...
I don't wanna leave it, I have an argumentative manner, but I try and surpass this...

God, people continually say stuff to be about what I look like, not knowing it hurts me, well, I hope they don't know it hurts me, but I think they reason I get hurt over such trivial things is cause... before I leave the house, I always do my best to look presentable, even though it never feels like it... and then when I actually feel good about myself... thats when they put me down!

And something else which hurts me more than anything is when my friends say stuff like "I'm really poetic" and whenever I'd say that, they'd just laugh...

I guess you could say I'm being overly sensative, but I don't insult their appearance, so they should insult me... even if they do it in a joking manner, it's still not fair.

Ugh another thing I'd like to bring up is that whenever I'm at school I hate having to use a persona, like I don't give a damn, all my friends give a fuck about it making sure that have as much fun at others expense as possible, all they do is laugh and joke around, even when I wanna talk about something serious...

Not that we do EVER talk about something serious!!

Dammit!

The last part will probably be:

Why are people so proud about cutting themselves?!
IT'S NOT SOMETHING TO BE FUCKING PROUD OF!!!

A few week ago... I was talking to Laura and Sam... and out of nowhere... Laura just went "Why did  you cut yourself?" it wasn't fair...she could've at least asked me while I was alone...

Yeah... I did cut myself for a while...I'm definately not proud of it... infact I'm horrified, thats why it shocks me to see people at my school showing them off like trophies... who am I to judge though?

Maybe some of the people who read this, if they read this will realise that I'm talking about them, and then find it unacceptable to say stuff like "Oh...it's that Jap"
and "Go cut yourself"...

Yeah... ~Fin

Waaaah!!

Okay, just thought I'd post a few of my dreams...aspirations...ect.

Okay... this year, and last year, I've wanted to move to Japan...and I'm currently learning Japanese (pretty slowly may I add ), but anyway, my ultimate dream;

1.) Move to Japan, when I can speak Japanese, and can afford to move.

I've always wanted to play guitar (well...not always) but this is going really (and I mean REALLY) slow...I MUST practice;

2.) Must practise guitar more often

Yeah sooooo... two goals for me to achieve before I'm.... 30?

And I'll practise this through the summer...and the rest of my time, like;

Monday - Hiragana
Tuesday - Guitar
Wednesday - Hiragana
Thursday - Guitar
Friday - Hiragana
Saturday - Guitar
Sunday - Hiragana...

Okay, there is 48 hiragana... I've learnt; aiueo, kakikukeko, gagigugego, sashisuseso, zajizuzezo

so thats 25 I've learnt...so I only have...23 to learn!
ARIGATO KAMISAMA!
okay so... I should have Hiragana under my belt within the month... THEN I CAN START KATAKANA!
then it's the same with katakana... will take a month... and after katakana I can start JLPT 4 =D KANJI HERE I COME!

Miserable Weather :(

So I woke up 17 minutes ago (5:00) and heard the rain...after spending about 2 hours yesterday straightening it, it's just gonna curl.

I HATE ENGLISH WEATHER

It needs to fuck off....seriously I'm very annoyed now.


See if Avril can cheer me up