Politics

Social politics are undoubtedly the most important aspect of life, sure you can gloss over and say it's not important, but it plays a vital role in my life.
If someone smiled at me, I'd be obliged to smile back.
If I bumped into someone, I apologise when it's not my fault.
I try to keep a conversation flowing by being random, but it's not working too well.
Of course, think of me as fake, but I'm not actually fake. If you think about it deeply, you'll notice it's impossible to treat everyone the same way, that's just common sense.

This past year has been the worst, unmatched. But my life is crawling up slowly, so slow in fact it's dragging. But if you think about it, my life isn't so bad. I have parents who love me, a sister who is there for me and a brother who cares (in his own way), I also have good friends and other stuff.
But you could ask, what has this to do with social politics! Well...a lot actually, for too long, I've tried to be a good person, and failed miserably. A lot of my friends now, i.e. people I'm close with, in a fashion are all my friends due to these politics.
The people who I care about and shower my time on I care about. You can usually know I care about you by the amount of time I spend on you. There's some of you who I'd be with all day if I could.

But yeah so this year I've messed up, but I'm dedicated to making amends. I'm not the sort of person to break down and apologise to people, I can't do that, but I will always try and return the kindness of people.
A lot of people seem to think that I'm not a kind person, when if I look at myself...I'm not really unkind. I am selfish, I admit, but I am kind too.

As everyone knows, I'm not the most grounded person, I get low easily, quickly and often. When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic. When I'm sad I range from sombre to...well, I won't get into that. At the minute, I'm pretty sombre, I can laugh and joke when in this mood, I can be slightly happy in this mood too, which is a paradox in itself, but I don't pretend to be simple.

The world, sadly, isn't an ideal place. An ideal place for me would be somewhere idyllic, quiet, mountainous land where only people I like are alive...nice :)
ROFL
But this isn't my ideal world, there's no guarantee that anyone I fall in love with will love me back, I'm always gonna have ups and downs, I know this, I just gotta control the downs...lol ah that was a bitter realisation, sorry for the abundance of emoness!

Peace! x

aaaaa

Wish me luck? :D

Ganbaru yo!

Dude, okay here goes ROFL

*IN-TE-NS-E*

I'll blog later!

明日は九月だよ！:(

Whoa, so summer has gone fast this year.

So I was thinking last night and I've decided that the year starts again on Thursday (04/09/08). More on that later though.

So Friday/Saturday was fun, went to Maria's to aid them in making a mess of the living room. :)
Well, we watched Most Haunted which was pretty hilarious, Yvette was constantly 'Did you hear that "AAH"?' and she was constantly hearing strange noises, mainly knocking, whistling and "ahh" noises.
It was pretty weird, Yvette is pretty much a fraud. She went from making things on Blue Peter, to making sounds on Most Haunted, do you see a connection here? :D
So towards the end of Most Haunted I begun a theological argument with Mark (those are the best). :D
But yeah, that was pretty cool, I seriously do take after dad the way I can talk and talk.
So then we decided to make videos of us just jumping into pillows and quilts (because we're cool that way!) So I might upload those later.
Seriously, halfway through I did a flip and my back cracked (niiiiice).

Then after that I like fell asleep for like two minutes...whoa. o.O

Then we randomly went on a walk, then woke Misa up. :D
Dude, we're cool kids. ;)

So, moving on from that, I totally have an obsession with LUNA SEA (particularly RA-SE-N and Rosier).

Well, I WAS gonna talk about school now, but I've just thought, fuck it! I'll blog later about that!

PS. keep on the look out for some new poems, about 3/4.

Poems (Y) Part II

Here's the second I wrote today.

Sat inside a willow tree
Bending in the wind
Branches twisting, winding to the sky

A stark comparison to our way of life
Rigid, towering like a silhouette of pines

'Grow this way, not that way'
Surrounded by wires
To guide us up to God

One path to follow
No where to grow
Struck by lightning
Up in flames

No room to bend,
Only to break
Trapped in a shape
That's solitary and right

Much unlike the graceful willow
Sculptured down below
Branches break
Then they heal

Struck by Jove's arrows
They aren't hurt
Bending ever upwards
Slowly into heaven

Sure it took a while
Of course there were mistakes

Room for change
Patience from growth
Unlike the stubborn pine --
Ever zealous; no mistakes

And thus the weeping willow
Mourns the pine unto this day.

Poems (Y) Part I

Okay, so I have two poems, I'll go in chronological order, so they aren't *perfect* but they'll do for now.

With the first beads of blood,
The first broken skin,
Like a sinister requiem entwined in sin,

Caught in the midst of a lethal masquerade
A release from the anguish of putting on this façade

How many times, have I played this game?
Of spiritual torture, my answer still the same
This unnatural addiction
A sole communication to the man who isn't there
Full on the outside, so everyone can stare

Living like a shadow, held in repugnance
Like a demon in its stance
Liar and a fake,
Crying for pity, lying through my teeth

I seethe words of "Pay me no attention --
Not even like you care."

Naught but malediction flows through these malignant veins
Pouncing like a lion, preying like a wraith
Only just a bane

Flowing out a river of crimson
A lake jealousy
A pond of pain

Moving back into the midst
Like a ripper of self-pain.

Man

What a depressing morning.

It's fucking freezing, wet and grey.

I'm also in a pretty bad mood today, siblings suck sometimes.

So today once my mother has gone to work, it'll just be me and dad in the house so it'll be quiet to a certain level.

But I'm in two minds whether or not to:
1.) Go back to bed (I've had 12 hours sleep, too much again).
2.) Or have a bath then get some hot chocolate at regular intervals.

But actually, I've just realised it's more probable I just sit here complaining to my blog.

I also might just laze about on OE... I dunno I can't be bothered today.

And my stomach just informed me he needs feeding. Damn, I don't normally have breakfast but I think I should make an exception.

So a few things I think I should mention.

Today's word is 'tittle-tattle' which is a noun referring to either idle chit-chat or a gossip. Fun!

Today's Japanese word is すくむ which is a verb meaning to cower/crouch/shrink/draw back.

But yeah, new postsecrets tomorrow :)

~じゃまたね

Poeeem

Okay, so I apologise in advance for the enormity of the emoiness.

It doesn't have a title, but it's mine, it's copyrighted, TO ME ;)

So .. here goes (it may be worth noting this isn't how I currently feel, and this is my first original poem for about a year.):

With the first beads of blood, the first broken skin,
Like a sinister requiem entwined in sin,
Caught in the midst of a lethal masquerade,
A release from the anguish of putting on this façade,

How many times have I played this game?
Of spiritual torment, my life answer still the same,
This unnatural addiction --
A sole communication to the man who isn't there,
For everyone else to stare,

Living like a shadow held in repugnance,
Like a demon in its stance,

Liar and a fake, crying for pity,
Lying through my teeth,
"Pay me no attention,
It's not even like you care", I seethe,

Naught but malediction flows --
Through these malignant veins,
Pouncing like a lion,
Preying like a wraith,
All I am -- a bane.

Yessums.. that's my latest poem (sucks I know), but yeah I did write this in like an hour of anguish and pain and torment and all those other poetic feelings ;)

But ahuh, like I say, it's copyrighted to me, so yeah :)

...So ahuh there's nothing much to say other than a few things that have happened today.

Erm.. so I'm home-alone for a while today, but I'm so~ tired, I can barely keep my eyes open.

Also, I had some angel's delight recently and it's given me a sore throat! :(

My current favourites with music are:

Song: Jane - Tsuchiya Anna
Band: Nightwish
Guitarist: Miyavi & Emmpu
Singer: Tarja Turunen
Solo Artist: Ayumi Hamasaki


...so yeah.. erm.. not much to add...so I dunno, I may blog later depending on my mood.

Oh, before I forget... a few shoutout, cause I'm cool this way.

Sarah:
Okay, Sarah is my soulmate and BFF, she likes Nightwish, I like Nightwish, she likes Inuyasha, I do too, she thinks I should rape people, I think I should also, LOVEYA BFF let's go shopping soon ^_~

Riah:
Stay awesome :]

Nat:
I fuuhkin love you, bitch =D

nah that's seriously.. I'm seriously tired so I'll go to sleep...maybe.

Ja, oyasumi yo!

Joeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel ^_^ ~