野に咲く花のように

On Monday my exams start, well, not just mine, everyone's.

To tell the truth, I'm really nervous about them. I think I'll do okay though.
After I finish this blog, I'm going to revise so much. I'll revise all day Saturday and Sunday too.

After my fourth exam I can breathe a little, but then back into the fray with more exams. Should be fun, right?
Well, I'm going to try my hardest because I have something to work towards.

I've realised that I can finally connect with Gackt's song "No ni Hana Saku no you ni" which translates to "the flowers blooming in the field."

Now that I'm so close to leaving I can almost taste it. Every breath is filling my lungs more and more with the scent of it. Haha.

The lyrics are very nostalgic. Very melancholy.

"No one has engraved their name in the ground beneath the cherry trees,
So let's make a promise,
To come back here someday and do that.
Like the flowers that bloom in the corner of the school yard,
Where the echoing of the school bell can be heard,
I want to express to you, who smiled gently for me,
A simple 'Thank you.'
One of these days, we'll meet here again.
Until that day...
I want you to grow strong, and never give up,
Like the flowers that bloom in the field.

The road we got so used to walking down,
And the scenery we got so used to seeing,
With a smile on your face, and tears in your eyes,
You said 'I'll remember them forever.'
We got used to always seeing, the setting sun colouring the rows of cherry trees.
And as we began to walk to the future,
We'll hold onto each and everyone of these memories in our hearts.
Until you reach the place you envisioned,
Don't ever give up.
You are flowers yet to be named,
But I want you to grow stronger and never give up no matter what."

There's more, but that's the really sad part. Haha. It's a coincidence considering that there's now a line of cherry-blossom trees outside school. o.O

So, yes. I'm feeling a little nostalgic. Strangely enough I'll miss that place, even though I've already left. I think I'll miss the people more than anything.
They say that as you grow older, you find yourself in different social groups, I think it's very true. It makes me wonder just how many of my friends I'll still be in touch with.

Different circumstances, different goals, different dreams, different paths.

But I don't think I'll ever forget anyone, even if we do eventually part. Haha.
That's an overly sad way to look at things, right?

Even so, sometimes it's good to be pessimistic, eh? XD

In other news, I'm totally in love with Gackt again. I think I'm gonna marathon him for a few weeks mainly to get his play count further up along my last.fm charts. XD

I think that's it. Hopefully I'm going to get to finish some poetry later. I feel in the mood for writing a "good bye" poem. XD

"It was the end of your dream, and the start of everything."

Wow. Have I really not blogged since April? Gosh. Well, I have a long update for you (lucky or what?)!

So, I'm pretty sure I didn't mention the result of my:
a.) College interview
b.) Blood/water results
c.) Everything else.

So, first off, I had my college interview...weeks ago. It went well! I have a place as long as I get my five Cs, easy! I already have two. XD
So. I'm going to work really hard now. :)
Now, my doctor's appointment went well, everything is fine. :)
Everything else...

I got an A for my English lit coursework so I'm really, really pleased with that. So thank you, Sarah, for all your help! :D

Currently I'm reading Of Mice and Men. But I realised I left it in the car. Damn. I'll just focus on poetry and maths until then. XD

There's actually...not a lot of interesting things going on at the minute other than revision.

I went to Maria's party on Saturday and it was fun! I danced. Yes. I danced...badly. Actually can you really call that dancing~?? I think not.
Let's see...I danced with...

Maria, Charlotte, Laura, Abbey, Marisa, Andrew...then...maybe Stef and Hannah? I can't remember. Way too many people. ^o)
But yeah. I made Maria cry (sorry!!!!!) I have a knack at making people cry. :D
Like when I told Sarah she needed chemotherapy. :)

She loves me really...!

So...Maria's party is covered. Now onto revision?

So I've decided that from now onwards. I'm going to dedicate myself to saying "Adieu" to the past five years of my life. I'm saying goodbye to that school, a lot of people as well.

But. I definitely don't wanna see my friends go. Seriously. Never ever. :(

Definitely I'm going to keep in touch with Maria and Laura. Then I'm wanna keep in touch with Charlotte...Dani...Hannah...all the brilliant people I've met, there's too many people to name.

So...now it's time for the emotion-fest. XD

Laura:
I've known you since you pushed me off a bench. We've been friends ever since, yeah, we've fallen out. I've been a jerk. But you've always been for me in the end. :)
You're one of people who makes me laugh the most and puts me in a permanent good mood.
I think you've made the past five years a really good time for me. I shall never stop bugging you. :D

Maria:
Maria, seriously. Where to start? XD
We've been friends for a...a long time and we've been through a lot. You've been there for me a hell of a lot too, and you've made me the person I am today. Like I've said before: you're beautiful inside AND out. There's so many happy memories with you for me. Particularly the quarryman. Seriously. He was cool. (H)
But even then when it's you even our arguments I can look back fondly. You really are like a (younger ;)) sister to me. Honestly. I know I can trust you with my entire life. :)
No matter how much you wish it. You're never gonna lose me. ;D

There's also a load more people I could write entire paragraphs about and such. But I'm kind of pressed for time at the minute. So a special mention :D:

Hannah:
Yes, we haven't always seen eye to eye. Yes, we've had some pretty serious arguments. But I'd just like to say you're amazing. I really do wish you happiness and I really do hope we don't lose contact. Even though these past few months have been hard for everyone, you've still regularly asked how things were over WLM, made sure I was doing okay, updated me on stuff. Seriously, if it wasn't for you my psychology coursework would totally still be an F. ;)
So, yeah. Thank you! :D

That's all /for now/ folks. I better get some revising done! :D :D

...Fun. 8-)

"This age is rolling around at the speed to the end.
It has crossed the border-line and disappointment and hope battle with each other,
We can never return to the place we used to be."

Is this an early blog for once?!

Hello!

So, just a little update for you all, there's not much news actually, but I feel like ranting. :)

I had a blood test Monday, I'm not sure if I said. But it was awkward.
I was hoping Lucy could come in with me, but apparently she wasn't allowed. So I had to brave it on my own. 笑
The nurse was actually nice, so that was good. Oh, and I was meant to fast, but no one told me. :D
It's a good job I hate eating breakfast. xD
So she's taken three blood samples and the results should be back by Friday which is when I have my next doctor's appointment.

Oh, and I'm PISSED.

Mark has had me entered for English literature, and I've been bugging him for ages about me not having the coursework for it. He's finally said that he has the coursework for me after like a month of me asking for it.
This means I have less than a week to complete the coursework unit for English lit, I have until Friday.
Also, I've gotta go up to school to pick it up and see Maddison at the same time today. Great.
Normally I wouldn't be bothered but less than a fucking week. What the FUCK?

So my week's schedule looks something like this:

Monday:
Blood test @ 3:00 PM

Tuesday:
Collect coursework @ 2:30 PM and then go down to the A-block and see Maddison

Wednesday:
Psychiatrist appointment @ 9:30 AM

Thursday:
It's looking like coursework day. :|

Friday:
Blood results back @ 3:30 PM

Now, it may seem like I'm complaining a little bit here, but you have to realise how truly pissed off I am about it.

So Monday was pretty much wasted, sure I did a little revision, had my blood tested then found out he couldn't get the coursework to me, I had to pick it up myself, even though I've been asking him for God knows how long.

The majority of today will be wasted. I'll be revising when I finish this blog and then I've got to go out at 2:00 PM and catch the bus so I get there for 2:30 PM then I've got to probably spend like 1h30 with Maddison. Oh yeah, my coursework is at an F because I followed the instructions. Fantastic.

Wednesday I'll be up at probably seven to catch the bus at some stupid time like 8:30 AM. Then I'll not get home for around 12:00 PM. So that will be fun, fun, fun!

So, out of this entire week it looks like Thursday is the only day that will allow me to work properly. No appointments.
So hopefully I'll be able to write the essay on a play I've never read/watched. ^_^

Great.

Friday also I have to go to the doctors for my blood results, hopefully everything is fine with that. But seriously. Why can't people be competent. If they wanted me to fast before the blood test it's not that hard to say to me 'Please don't eat for 24 hours before the appointment.'

People piss me off so much. ¬_¬

In HAPPIER news my sister bought me Mikado which are these little bread sticks coated in chocolate, they're the same things as the Japanese Pocky. They taste good.
ALSO I have more green tea which makes me happy. Green tea equals happy Joel.

Damn, I rant so much. XD

~Bye!

I'm so lazy.

Hola!

I'm sorry for the major gap between my postings here, it's just every since I moved from MySpace's blog service, I always forget to check on here. Mainly because I'm really lazy.

So, with that out of the way I guess I can continue.

This week has been okay. I've somehow managed to get nothing constructive finished. Go me.
Although I plan on doing a lot of revision today and for the this week and, naturally, the following weeks.

So far, I've had 2 appointments with a psychiatrist, you have no idea how crazy that makes me feel. But things are going well, I'm undergoing a course of 6 weeks with an appointment a week.
Other than that I've had an appoint with my GP, I've got to go back on Monday to have a blood test. Yay.
Also, I have a college interview! Hurrah! Hope that goes well.

Aside from that life has been pretty average recently. So that's all well.
Actually I do feel a little mournful, not sure why. Oh well.

But aside from that, I recently discovered a new artist, she goes by the name of KOKIA, and she's a genius. Haha.
In fact she reminds me of Rurutia a little.

Also, I don't know if anyone who reads has a last.fm account, but my user is " furashubakku " in case you wanna add me or something.

So, yeah, just a quick blog to update y'all. I'll hopefully blog later.

P.S. I recently found 2 poems I'd written a while ago but had forgotten about. I might post them later, but probably not considering I have like 3 unfinished songs and 4 unfinished poems to deal with. I might just liquidize them eventually.

Good day! I've not blogged for a long while, which is strange, I used to blog almost bi-daily. I don't know when I became so lethargic!
Well, actually I guess I've not blogged because nothing interesting has happened recently.

The biggest news I have is that I apply for college, so I'm currently waiting for an interview date (lucky, eh?).
I think that's pretty much it, I know in a previous post I said that I was currently writing a short story, well, that has yet to come into fruition, it'll take a long time before my "mojo" kicks in again, because I'm currently having creative lag. This is also the reason I have 4 unfinished poems. So yay for that.

I know he'll obviously never read my blog, but I'm wishing Miyavi congratulations on getting married and hope he and his new wife, melody., have a long and fruitful relationship! Also, if the rumours are true, I hope that they have a healthy child! \^_^/
Oh, and I offer my (in)sincere lamentations upon THSK ranking badly in the ORICON, but I'm glad that Ayumi's NEXT LEVEL has topped the ORICON six days in a row! (I'm a geek, I know).

*Thinks*
I think that's pretty much all I have to say, I just thought I'd update people briefly on the goings on inside my head! Oh, I'm currently reading Jane Eyre again (I love that book).
I think~ that's it. Which reminds me, I need a job. :(
I want monies. :(

But yeah, bye!

Stuff No-One Cares About

So, firstly, I wanna talk about "NEXT LEVEL" which is Ayu's tenth original album.
Yes, this means I'm going to try my hand at reviews. You lucky people. :P

So, the album starts with the song "Bridge to the sky" which is a calm intro with a slight rock-edge, it's semi-instrumental and really sets the mood for the next track.
(Composed by Nakano Yuuta who also composed Mirror(cle World), talkin' 2 myself, decision, and Marionette -prelude-).

Track two is the title track "NEXT LEVEL" and has a distinct summer feel reminiscent of BLUE BIRD, personally this is one of my favourite tracks of the album because the lyrics are really sweet. Although it's a pop song it still retains an original melody.
(Composed by D・A・I who is a personal favourite, he's composed many of Ayumi's songs including BLUE BIRD, SEASONS, Boys & Girls, Real me, Trauma, and monochrome).

The third track which is titled "Disco-munication" is actually pretty disco-sounding, it has a hard bass, synths, and (maybe) electric guitar. It's the first interlude of the album and it's completely instrumental, setting the techno-inspired scene for the next songs: EnergizE and Sparkle.
(Composed by CMJK who composed other interludes for Ayumi including The Judgement Day (GUILTY), Are You Wake Up? ((miss)understood), and a few songs: until that Day... and Over).

The forth track: "EnergizE" also carries off a techno sound, with an equally heavy bass and electronic sounds with harmonious synthesizers (I know nothing about music, obviously) it's a pretty good song even though it may take some getting used to as it is pretty different from Ayumi's previous songs, this also was composed by Nakano Yuuta.

"Sparkle", the fifth track of the album, is definitely one of my favourite Ayumi songs, fitting in with the previous two songs, it's clearly inspired by techno and infused with a dash of rock. Ayumi's vocals here are akin to Kumi Kouda's. So, yes, I have to say I'm slightly biased because I love it so much, if I was rating songs, this would easily get a 8. ;)
(Composed by Hara Kazuhiro who also composed Marionette, glitter (both GUILTY), STEP you ((miss)understood), Born To Be...(Secret), &c.).

"rollin'" is the sixth track and in my opinion one of the strangest (also the best). Starting with a keyboard intro that for some reason creeps me out as it reminds me of clowns it suddenly stops to introduce a beat (yet another bass heavy song), her lyrics in this change between natural and computerised, which is pretty cool in my opinion. For some reason this really reminds me of the 80s, I guess I can't really put my finger on it, but the chorus is amazing, I love it.
(Also composed by Nakano Yuuta, Nakano really comes into his element on this album imo）.

GREEN is yet another favourite and comes at track seven. GREEN has a vibrant spring feel to it and comes jam packed with Chinese instruments and reminds me of many of Ayumi's other 'Chinese' sounding songs such as Moments, Will, and vogue. I think this is yet another really original song from Ayumi.
I guess for me it marked a new era, her last album GUILTY seemed to be almost entirely dealing with loss and pain, then along came GREEN which literally reminds me of a budding flower.
(Composed by Yukumi Testuya who also composed (don't) leave me alone (GUILTY), Life (Mirrorcle World single), ((miss)understood).

Load of the SHUGYO is the eighth track and is the second instrumental, getting away from the disco elements (almost) this has some really heavy guitar riffs along with a beat which actually reminds me of the Australian didgeridoo. I don't know why, so it's best not to ask. This instrumental really helps take you from disco to Ayumi's rockier songs including identity and Rule.
(Composed by CMJK).

The ninth track is called identity and is Ayumi's first "rock" song of NEXT LEVEL, it's a good song in all, it reminds me of (don't) leave me alone a lot, especially in the chorus.
(Composed by Nakano Yuuta).

The tenth track and third single from the album is Rule, which is also the international theme for the new Dragon Ball theme. Rule is also a heavy rock song.
A running theme in NEXT LEVEL seems to be heavy bass, liberal usage of computers (as in voice masking and synths).
(Composed by Watanabe Miki who composed is this LOVE ((miss)understood) she also composed Kuu's song Butterfly).

LOVE 'n' HATE which is the eleventh track is also a strange song, I think from this album it is the rock song which stands out the most. The intro to this song is really really epic, and the first part of it kind of reminds me of STEP you, but then it quickly changes into something unique.
I absolutely love this song. :)
(This was also composed by Nakano).

The last instrumental of the album is Pieces of SEVEN which is track twelve. This also has an unusual sound, it reminds me somewhat of a rainy day, I don't know why I get that feeling from it, but it has a really nice calming effect to it which nicely links the rock songs to the ballads even though it does speed up a little to the end.
(Composed by HΛL who also composed some other interludes such as LABYRINTH (Secret), reBIRTH (GUILTY), &c.).

The thirteenth song is Days which to me seems like a wintry love ballad, a really sweet song but not one of my favourites sadly. I think that it's not a favourite due to Ayumi's preference to performing it live. :P
(Composed by Tago Kunio who seems to compose soley ballads including untitled ~for her~(GUILTY), Key (DUTY), Together When... (GUILTY), and SCAR (DUTY)).

The final song is called Curtain call which is a fitting title for the last track, this song is also a ballad, the lyrics are incredibly sweet and it's possibly the best ballad of the album. This song's lyrics remind me of Who... and the melody is also pretty simple. To my ears it sounds just like a piano and maybe a backing choir. I think that the simplistic sound is a wonderful way to go to the proverbial NEXT LEVEL. :P
(Composed by Hara Kazuhiro).

In all, I think this is possibly one of Ayumi's most original albums and also one of her best. I particularly like NEXT LEVEL, Sparkle, rollin', GREEN, LOVE 'n' HATE and Curtain call.
The singles from this album were GREEN, Days, and Rule. Although Sparkle, Curtain call and NEXT LEVEL also have PVs. I was glad to hear a more refreshing sound from Ayumi and also glad to know that Mirrorcle World was NOT on this album. ;)
Out of ten, I'd give this album about 8/10.
Nakano Yuuta really did fantastic in composing the majority of the songs and keeping the sound original. :)

~owari~

In other news!
Rurutia's new album Seirios is fantastic too.
But, I have a maths exam tomorrow (today?) so that should be FUN!

I finished reading The New Girl, the ending was a total anticlimax, seriously, rubbish. I was really disappointed. But I am now (re)reading Jane Eyre.
So yeah. Now I'm gonna go and finish some things! :D

Supporting Israel -- NOT the Gay Thing to Do

To-day I was on facebook browsing when I received a notification from a cause I joined a while ago on the topic of supporting decriminalisation of homosexuality within the UN. Now, this isn't what I'll be blogging about, but let's start with some GOOD news, eh?
So, the notification is an announcement regarding the Obama Cabinet's decision to sign the UN gay rights declaration which the Bush Cabinet refused to sign. You can read the full article here.
So, that's the good news over the way.

Next, in the same group I came across a post in the forum entitled "Supporting Israel: It's the Gay Thing to DO."
Now, a while ago I posted a blog on the subject of the Arab-Israeli conflict regarding an Israeli attack upon the Palestinian people where hundreds of civilians (mainly women and children) were shot by Israeli snipers.
This blog, along with photos a Palestinian had taken of the attack can be found here.

Now back to this article, this article was basically an article posted upon a news website called Gay Wired. This article basically talks about how fantastic Israel is due to its treatment of the LGBT community and how fantastic it is that they're being proactive against Gaza and can be found here.

I'd just like to say that a lot of homosexual people think that as long as a country has gay rights, then it's all good. I believe that this is a very wrong way to think, it's a very unsafe way to judge a country. Sure Israel has gay rights, sure Israel's cities have gay pride parades, sure Israel has all this but does this justify the killing of civilians?

I know that the Hamas have launched terrorist attacks upon Israel but I also know that the Israeli government have sponsored the killing of Palestinian civilians.
I think there is a distance between a "terrorist group" fighting for their land and a developed country killing women and children.

Of course Palestinian members of the GLBT community face punishment for their sexual orientation, and I don't condone that what-so-ever, but like someone commented saying

My liberation is tied up with the liberation of any of the victims of oppression in the Middle East, whether they be queers under a murderously homophobic Islamic regime, or murderously homophobic Muslims under a murderously Zionist regime.

I have to say that I completely agree.
Of course it's unfair that homosexuals are treat terribly at the hands of Islamic nations, but isn't it also unfair that people are being persecuted for nothing at all at the hands of a developed nation? Aren't human rights there to protect all humans whether they're homosexual or straight, Muslim or Jew?
It makes me mad to see that "gay politics" seem more important to some people than basic human rights, human rights which have been denied to many Palestinians for more than forty years.

I realise that I know nothing about politics, but I do recognise unfair treatment and this is exactly what it is.